` Saturday, October 12, 2013 ♥
After yesterday walking therapy, and a good deal of letting it all out before headache sets in and forces me to shower and to bed, i thought today will be better.
and when i got up today.. i thought i was better too? cos no more urge. just more calm. but i was wrong when late night sets in... emotions get manifested for some unknown reasons.. and there i am, being such a weakling again. amongst all my comforting toys. the only way for me to get the comfort and reassurance i need.
cos i was feeling all emo again, i suddenly picked up the book [men are from mars, women are from venus] which i bought some time back. didnt read finish cos oh well not a avid reader. but then i think its really worth the time to read it someday. i only briefly flip true it. and it somehow is quite reflective. now i am kinda in the chapter 3 situation thou not exactly. caves. how apt it is being described.
and the words thoughts that were mentioned are kinda correct for some too. prob it would be good to be read tog when all is fine.
to be honest im fearful. im scared. im afraid. i cannot imagine what is going to happen later. contradicting it might be that i wanna see but im really scared. how pathetic i am. so much emotions i know i will feel, so much things that i would probably wanna say. but no.. needa consciously remind myself no. must hold on. must suppress it. even if theres indignant, its not worth showing. end up making it difficult for myself only.
i am strong. no matter what i can take it. let this self-psycho start to take its effect once again.
It's always ♀ ♡ ♂ Never ♂ ♡ ♀; if only...
