At times like this, I really feel like I needa lean on you.. My tears just don't stop falling for awhile now.. Just need that comfort... I got such a strong urge to request just 3secs from u.. U don't have to do anything.. Just give me 3 secs of being unpressured, just let me hug u for 3 secs... That will do . I really really want to.... But I'm actually so scared that by doing this I will be pushing u away.. I can't I can't afford that...

Is this my punishment now? In a way yes I guess... Thou I know u wouldn't want me to think of it this way..

I'm hugging snoopy now... I'm in your jacket now pretending that it's u holding me now... But why m I still in such pain?:'(

No matter how painful, I needa cont texting u normally.. I just need to do that.. So that u won't lose patience with me. U won't get stress.. I will still know how ur day went in general.. Maybe not ur feelings thou which is quite saddening.. But I need them to carry on my day as well.. These texts, is my daily pills of energy n vitamins.

Don't be greedy Joey.. U agreed to come over in may.. U agreed.. Many things u didn't have to do u still did.. U kept to ur words by being here for me..

Joey stop it.. Stop tearing.. Stop! He doesn't like a you who tears. Stop it..

I hope my attempts to lighten our atmospher with an occasional emoticon will not irritated u.. Not trying to be fake.. Just trying to improve... I guess u will rather see that than the forever emo me now.. I know u know my intention.. I know u know when is tt :) a genuine one.. But let me just try... It's hard for me to really smile now to be honest.. Since that day nth made me smile geneuinely. U r the only one who can bring my smile back to me.. Slowly..

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