seems like this is almost becoming my daily dose of... i duno what you call this too..
ytd i spent quite some time on transport.. either on the train or on the bus or even walking... either i am just dazing or stoning. or im feeling upset in a certain way. not in a way where i start to break down. but in a certain way i feel pain. maybe some tears may seem to be welling up.. but not to the extent i cry.
the pain increases if i were to reread some msges.
i was on mp3 throughout the journey. no songs were specifically picked, just shuffled.. some were happy, some were encouraging, some were just sad. well. the happy songs had no impact at all. the encouraging songs like "keep holding on" reminded myself that i had to really
keep holding on
we'll make it through make it through
just stay strong
cos you know im here for you here for you
then all the sad songs.. i felt for it.. but it was only when i heard this one particular song, that my tears really fell..
You will always gonna be the one
And you should know
How I wish I could have never let you go
Come into my life again
Oh, don't say no
You will always gonna be the one in my life
So true, I believe i can never find
Somebody like you
my first love
Every word, every sentence here is what i feel too. my first love, my only love.
well, then it seems to be that i had to just missed my last train. i had no intention to. i tried to catch whatever train i could till i ended up stranded in the other end of sengkang. when i alighted the bus. the first instant all i felt was lost. i didnt even know the way home. but i had to get back home. so i walked. not knowing how long this walk is gonna talk. walking along hdb roads isnt tt bad. so it was fine. till i reached an area where its scarily quiet. its the little bridge tt has the river below, and trees at the side. i was scared. really scared. if anything happen it could really be it. but i had to carry on walking. just like now, thou im scared and fearful for the future. but i have to keep walking cos its only when in keep walking that i can walk to the destination that i want to reach. i reached home last night eventually. so i hope that i will also be able to reach my destination of our home if i carry on walking. will i?
few more years down the road, and if things remain like it is now, and we are both still single and still loves each other. will u be willing to settle down with me? though the best would be things wont remain like this for long, things will just turn for the better soon.. i had plans to get married in my 20+, have 1/2 years of time being with each other, and have children before i hit 30. are all these still achievable?
It's always ♀ ♡ ♂ Never ♂ ♡ ♀; if only...
