its april already...

and its april's fool day today... u know how i wish that u would come and tell me, its just a april fool's joke! non of this is real.. but.. this is highly unlikely..

actually i really wanted to just go on your bed and rest.. gather more comfort.. gather more strength..
but then again, the fact that u agreed to meet me outside to do work together is good enough.. and im actually happy for it.. i guess seeing you is already very comforting.. spending time with u this way, is good enough for now.. i know i cant expect too much.. cant expect a smile to come so soon.. but yea.. willingly meeting me now makes me thankful. just hope that ure comfortable being with me at least.. as for me making you happy, i.. will needa work on that.. or rather, more time is needed ba.. just hope that with time it will come along.. and that when u see me, it makes u happy enough to smile.

no more counselling for the time being.. i hope its better for u too.. and i truly hope that i wouldnt need to re arrange for an appt in the future.. cos if i do, it only means that sth went wrong agn.. if i dont, it means that things are getting better... or at the very least its like what it is now, ure still here for me.. u still do things more than what a friend would do.. and still treat me as a impt person, as a gf. and this shall remain btw us..

previously, i look forward to seeing you everytime.. believe it or not i really do..

now, i still look forward to seeing you.. in fact more than ever.. i will be thinking of when i will see u next, it gives me that sense of security that u wont disappear. so now 2 more days and its thurs.. means i will get to see u for awhile.. then i have sat to look forward to.. will be having an impt observation next wk by the vp.. this sat meet up.. is gg to give me the energy for next wk.. actually whether or not there is anything impt... i guess i still need that energy.. that mental strength.. to simply carry on..

sth i recalled last night.. i actually secretly think of names for our future child last time.. not just once but quite a number of times.. hopefully one day, i can share them with u.. n u can tell me what u think of them..

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