woke up this morning in a terrible state.. heartache was so strong. sat in a cab n i just teared. went to sch and just did nth. left sch feeling bitter. on the way back home always seems to be a very sad journey cos i felt sad again. teared again.

after showering and dozing off for 20mins... somehow i felt better.. going to sch again felt like its a brand new day.. and i somehow calmed down a little.. but then when i was in the hall during the anniv, i duno why but i just dont feel good agn.. like its starting..

didnt go for the ice cream session.. i actually did reconsider.. like maybe i shld go.. but when i heard its at siglap i just didnt wanna go. they are cabbing there and later i most prob needa cab home alone cos i duno how to go back. and i may not have any transport back and theres no one to share cab with me to the same area too. but then again, i duno if this is just my excuse of not going.. im thinking that it seems like there is quite a high chance that i will go if im feeling ok.. a bigger part of the reason is also prob cos when everything ended, i was really not in the mood for it and i just felt like going home, lie down and hug snoopy. im becoming different. somehow. it seems like im starting to isolate myself. or rather minimise any other additional stuff which are not exactly necessary. dont know whats becoming of myself already.

no idea why going home is always such a painful time.. started to tear again.. then i just zoned out till i miss my stop to tamp interchange instead. walking there is also so painful.. ohgod.. decided to go get some materials needa for lesson observation from popular.. but theres just too many memories there..

i couldnt take it anymore, so i needed sth to distract myself.. i started playing haypi.. and it actually did helped. i duno if haypi is like links to u too, then theres some connection? but play play n stop thinking of some stuff..

now back on bed, time for a rest after a long day.. tmr then do work.

i guess, i can go on, if we still continue to go out, and u still let me hold u.. i guess i still can carry on in a complicated and blur situation.. i guess i still can carry on as long as we are still together in this way..

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