woke up today, and saw ur reply.. heart kinda sank when u said "i dun want to think about it".. cos it seems that u are still running away.. and im wondering if that equates to nth getting better.. and that thought was really hurtful..
my walk to the busstop this morning tears came along with it.. so i had to comfort myself by telling myself that actually the fact that u dont wanna think about it shows that maybe u still wanted me.. so u r running away from all that tiredness, or fear of being with me because u love me and didnt wanna leave me. duno if its true but i had to comfort myself with some positive thoughts.. in a sense, i seem quite pathetic. had to resort to such self-comfort. but it works. its like the same feel as no news is good news. so since u didnt give me a negative ans, it is a positive one. yea...

and u never will know how much it meant to me.. or how it comforted me.. when u texted back saying "will try". u actually said u will try to not feel that way, n want things to get better with me.. u said u will try.. u know how much that mean to me... just 2 simple words like this from you can actually calm me, comfort me like nothing else or no one else can.. thats the influence and impact u have on me my dear honey...

whether it is out of habit, out of guilt, out of trying to be here for me, doing this really for my sake cos u know i need it to carry on with daily life, or (what i hope) that it is cos u really also wish to hear from me daily, im just appreciative and thankful that everyday u still text me, and that is a sign of u still thinking of me daily. at least, im still a part of your life.

honey, hang in there for studies now.
after which, hang in there for us. it will get better. trust us.

;