` Lynn ♥

` Tuesday, May 6, 2014 ♥

Posted @ // 12:48 AM

last week of practicum.. nth much to do in sch.. really just waiting for time to pass..

hmm somehow the times as i was waiting for piano, i felt really down and heavy.. not too long ago, i was in a i dun need to worry about future cos i have you. i mean i m in a serious rs that is looking at settling down soon. now i worry. i just felt really down.. my goal was so clear previously.. earn money to get a house, to set up a family with you. now, i lost this goal but yet im still keeping this goal.

today was not the usual sadness that fills my eyes with tears. it is the super heavy feeling deep inside.. it is those when tears dont come, but then its bleeding like hell inside.. and i realised, this is worse. cos i cant even do anything to comfort myself.

"If you said that you’ll go back after giving some time for yourself, then fine. All I could do now is to have faith in you and I’m refusing to believe the negative signs that I am seeing. I know in my heart that you’re worth my trust. You are worth the pain."

this is exactly how i feel. even though u didnt say u will come back, u just said there is a chance and that all these things that ure still doing now is showing sth. but yea, im just putting all my faith in u that u wont bear to see me breakdown and leave me alone to fend for myself. trusting that these 6 years we did build a foundation. i trust u. i willing to take all this pain now and still hold on. just because it is you.

watched a tale of 2 brains.. its a marriage workshop, and it is recommended by my colleague. they talk about very real issues on how man and woman brain works in a light-hearted manner. and we are also no exception.

man: when he is stress, he just wanna be left alone.
woman: when she is stress, she just wanna rant and need someones to listen.

so true.
i know there are still many areas im lacking in. but im willing to slowly learn.. dont deny me this chance of learning, and improving.
we are all not perfect. i dont expect u to be one. i love u just the way u are and im willing to accept your imperfections. but i really hope for u to accept my imperfections too. no one in this world can ever care for me like u do, no one can ever understands me like you do. no one will ever make me feel like im the luckiest girl on earth filled with happiness like u do. (thou yes no one can ever break my heart like u do too)

follow your heart my honey, im quite sure your heart still leads you to me.

It's always ♀ ♡ ♂ Never ♂ ♡ ♀; if only...

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