“不要放弃。有时候，不是因为看到了希望所以坚持，而是因为坚持所以看到希望。”
a quote from the channel 8 9pm show from last night.. as i was watching catch up tv, this quote caught me. i hope because im holding on now, i will see the hope in the end.
u know before i knew that u went for interview only this morning, i felt really upset cos i thought u wouldnt have told me anything if i didnt ask u what u were busy with. during those times i felt so disconnected from you. i felt that i didnt know anything about whats happening in your life. i was so upset because i no longer have the rights to say "why you never tell me?" and then i really thought to myself, 现在的我，到底算什么？what am i to you? really very saddening. then this self-healing mechanism always sets in.. telling myself that hey no.. in the end u still told me what. and i shld be happy about it. when i knew u only went for it this morning, i was actually more settled. cos u still told me quite quickly. thou i duno if u would have told me if i didnt ask u.. i asked so so many questions, then u answered me.. but u didnt say anything else.. honey, sometimes, when u say u have nth to say to me.. but really all i wanted was for u to tell me about these small daily things in your life. i just really hope that u will share with me. is like, if ure going for an interview, i really hope to know to. i just wanna be kept in the loop of your life. when i share everything with u, i hope for the same too.
honey, i dont need u to need me.. i know u dont need me.. i want u to want me. because wanting me, it is a conscious desire. i just want u to want me.
u know what, today i went for a hair cut. do u still rmb that very night, i told u i think i shld get a haircut soon, and i actually planned to do it during the mar holidays. but my march holidays was so screwed up i didnt gt anything done. today, i finally went. honey, when u see me tmr, will u even take notice of it.. perhaps u will, but u prob have nth to say, u wont say anything right. u know sth, a very silly me will think, isit only if sth bad happen to me, then u will start taking notice of me.
i know all these while u wanna look for an intern. im actually happy that u managed to get an internship. really. its gonna be quite a long time.. its like 4 mths.. im sure u will be able to mix well with your colleagues. honey, i really really wonder, if they ever ask u about ur rs status, what will u say?? what will u say to these new ppl that u meet? im actually quite pessimistic, i think that u will say single. honestly this thought is enough to kill myself.. haiz.. i still cling on to that little hope that u wont say single.. u will perhaps say sth else.. even if u say complicated. say amber also ok.. i really hope u will, but what are the chances? and this is prob sth u wont tell me.. so i guess im just gonna live in my own misery.
and i also know u always wanted to work more and earn more money.. so i dont think ure doing it so that u are so busy that u will have the best excuse of not seeing me.. i hope not and i dont think it is this case. if u really were to work everyday, can i still go out with u? if u have to work everyday, how am i suppose to ask u out? cos u will be tired.. will u still make time for me? will i be part of ur plan? im afraid... that i wont be part of ur plan,... u took leave for camp.. if u eventually get a wkend job, will u take leave on ur bday? will u? will u take leave for my convo?
at least, i guess, im still the one who got to know the news of ur internship first right? well thats a huge comfort..
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[Date someone who wants to grow old with you]
You should be dating someone who respects you. If he doesn’t want to put away his phone during dates, and keeps on replying others’ messages, checking for emails (or worse, Facebook notifications), or getting distracted by his Blackberry’s flashing red light, he isn’t worth your time. In fact, date someone who sets his phone on silent, who puts his mobile face down on the table or keeps it where it belongs – in his pocket.
Date someone who will fight for you. Who gets rejected but still keeps on trying, for he knows you’re worth the risk and you’re worth the pain. Date someone who wants to wait for your parents’ permission, who opens the car, apartment, and shopping mall doors, and offers to carry your very heavy-looking shopping bags, just because he wants to.
Date someone who cares about you. Someone who drives all the way to wherever you are at the moment because it’s late and somehow, your feet are swollen. Someone who really thinks of your opinions and puts them in consideration. Date someone who still walks you home even though it will cost him more time, just because it’s the nice thing to do. Date someone who stays up late till two or three am in the morning just to call you to say goodnight, because you are on the other side of the world and time difference beats you but never kills you.
Date someone who really, really loves you. Someone who tries his best to make you happy. Someone who hugs you when you are having a bad day and cooks for you when he knows you’re tired. Someone who loves KFC night on the sofa with a good movie. Someone who buys you flowers at random occasions just to put a smile on your face. Someone who asks you to go to museums, zoos, theme parks, and exhibitions instead of going for movies or shopping for the nth time. Someone who is spontaneous and surprises you with road trips. Someone who is adventurous.
Spend time with someone who respects themselves. Someone who has a great deal of self-esteem and is mature enough to handle things that are thrown his way. Someone who is willing to lay down his pride for you, instead of defending it. Someone who is not scared of Public Display of Attention because life’s too short to care about what others think. Someone who is sincere, kind, and gentle. Someone who knows how to treat you well. Someone who sees how beautiful you are, even when you believe otherwise. Someone who doesn’t compare you to other girls.
Date someone who has the right values – who will make you a better person. Find someone who believes in you, who will support you to reaching your dreams despite things looking bleak at the moment. Someone who doesn’t believe in no-win scenarios, and someone who listens. Someone who can criticise you and praise you at the same time.
Find someone who wants to get to know your friends and who invites you to go out with his. Someone who has a good support system and great friends to fall back when all else fails. Someone who can make you laugh when you cry. Someone who understands. Someone who takes time to learn your interests and be cooperative even if he doesn’t share them. Someone who puts effort to know your family and introduces you to his.
Seek out someone who protects you, who will take care of you, and who will never leave you. Someone who is financially and emotionally stable. Someone who is committed and never has the word ‘affair’, ‘divorce’, or ‘backstreet’ in his dictionary. Someone who focuses on self-development and has the courage to pursue his dream. Someone who is willing to change. Someone who can lead you. Someone who is not afraid to let you see him cry. Someone who watches you until you fall asleep, and kisses you on the forehead. Someone who finds himself lucky to have you. Someone who believes in magic.
Life’s short, so you shouldn’t waste time dating someone who doesn’t care about you, who won’t put the time to be with you, who doesn’t respect you, who calls you names and doesn’t even care if you are sick or stranded somewhere in the middle of the night. Don’t worry about whether he is romantic or whether he loves or hates your fashion taste. They’re secondary stuffs. Date someone who wants to grow old with you. Because truth is, if you don’t grow together, you’ll grow apart.
this article, may sound all too perfect.. but do u realise that u actually fulfil quite a number of them? but yea u didnt for some, cos u still left me. still hurt me. but it doesnt matter now.. i dont need everything from u.. the only thing i want is, i want u to grow old with me.. thats enough.
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u know sth, i miss those times when u would get jealous. and i regretted not doing what u wanted. because when u get jealous, it means i meant alot to u.. and now its too late.. but i hope that it wont be too late that there is no turning back. i hope that one day u will be jealous again.. :'(
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honey, i really wanna know what i am to you now.. :(
u ever said this, even if we arent tog, maybe we could be the best of friends. but im really sorry honey, i really dont know how can i be your best friend only and not a best friend cum life partner. in my heart, you are always my number 1 choice of a life partner.
u will probably agree to this "some things just happen, doesnt need a reason"
honey, dont give up trying. dont give up trying when u see how hard im trying. thank you.
It's always ♀ ♡ ♂ Never ♂ ♡ ♀; if only...
