today is the first day of school..

everything is in a mess.. i really duno what to expect.. its really very scary..

honey, there is this unexplained pressure that just builds up throughout the day when i was in school.. the moment i step out of sch i was nearly crumbling. im not even thinking of anything but that scary stress just eat me up.

i m so scared i dont even dare to think of anything.. i know im running away i came home and bathe and slp. i just need an escape. the start of school itself is scary.. the stress is already there.. even without my current situation i think i m gonna complain to u. but now coupled with this situation. is like fear and even more fear.. stress and even more stress.. so bad that even not thinking of anything i just feel the pressure that im actually tearing cos of the immense pressure built up inside me..

i still say u are my boyfriend.. but u wont say im your girlfriend. but im still gonna do it even if it hurts like hell. i really need it.. i try really hard to think of the nice things u do for me now..

honey, today is really bad. i can foresee that this start is gonna be really bad.. im so sorry but there is this emotional pressure in me that if u say u are short fused to me, im now just super short fuse to stress.. my stress level is almost at its max that a little bit more and i just really crumble inside.. sometimes i just know it cos i can actually feel that its like im suffocating inside.. the physical feeling of it..

im so sorry that the only way i can get some comfort now is really from your hugs.. please please give me such comforts.. please please.. is not that i wanna beg u.. but really please, i really cant handle it. please be here for me.. please be my support system.. i really need it..

;