went to run errands today.. travelled ard alone.. got the things i need.. kept myself occupied on the journey by watching some hk drama..

alighted at my first stop at frankel ave... and i got reminded of u.. never thought that would happen but it did.. just because i saw the restaurant [different taste].. one of the first few places i had dinner together with your family some years back.. i realised that every small detail belonging to me and you is still kept very close to my heart.. i have always valued and treasured every moment i spent with you. honestly speaking, im really very glad to be able to have so much memories with you such that nearly everywhere i go i can be reminded of u.. even though all these dear memories makes me smile, but also bring tears to my eyes, i am still glad for them. not knowing when will i just smile and not tear... but i will hang on now.. and believe that love will overcome everything. really not being naive or what.. but i must believe in sth now.. then i can still smile as i tear.. and not break down totally...

to be loved or to love is more blissful?
well, i think to be able to love and for the love to be accepted is the most blissful.. even if it means u dont receive as much love..
now, i just want to love u in my own capacity.. thats all..

i have come to realised that actually sometimes i need u.. but then actually i also want to feel needed by u.. maybe not need me like i need u.. but rather just the desire to want me somehow..
it is really hard for me to understand that u want me but u just cant do it anymore.. i mean i understand how u probably want ur life back.. maybe u just wanna do sth for urself now.. u just wanna live a life and not have any regrets in the future. im really trying hard to feel that.. i dont want u to have any regrets... if eventually u think that this decision is the right decision and u dont regret in the future, its good.. u probably have found a new life without me.. but now, i just wanna be around.. i just wanna be around in case u do regret in the future.. if that day ever comes, i will still be around, and as long as u hold me once again, i will be back.. cos i will never leave.. yes its very foolish i know.. dont deserve any pity.. but im sorry... this is the only way im helping myself to survive. 请试着了解我，只是想安慰和保护已经伤透的心。因为治疗不了了。只有你，可以。等待，是我唯一的选择。

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