` Lynn ♥

` Tuesday, July 15, 2014 ♥

Posted @ // 10:37 PM

"If someone really wanted you, they’d actually put some effort into trying to get your attention, and make sacrifices for you. They wouldn’t just tell you they wanted you; they’d show you in every little way possible that they want you."

I really want you.. but do i just say it only? do i not know how to truly make sacrifices for you such that u really feel and know how much i want you, how much you mean to me? did i cause all these pain on myself?

4 months..exactly 4 months went by.. 4 years later is a timeline im looking at when my bond ends, and see what i would wanna be doing.. 4 years later.. what will become of us?

i dont dare to say, i dont think u will think there is a need to say.. cos its probably weird for u.. but would it be possible to show it in some way or the other.. maybe from time to time.. if 1 year go by, 2 year go by.. i hope that if after all the passing time.. if u still feel the same for me.. if u still love me as a person like what u always have.. show me... even if u still cant be with me.. but knowing that im still your love still meant alot to me.

you make me happy.. but i know its not your responsibility to make me happy.. honestly, when we were together, u really can make me happy.. but u arent the only one or the only thing that can make me happy or smile.. watching a variety show or a drama can make me laugh. going out with friends too. interacting with kids also make me happy. when i was with you, my world did not revolve around u. but when u leave, i realise i hung on even more tightly to u. i cant smile and laugh as heartily when i watch a variety show. when im with my friends i thankfully still can forget about my pain temporarily but sad to say the moment the outing has ending i usually feel extra alone, which often cause pain to set in more strongly again. u didnt make me live for u when u were there for me. u make me a better person. u make me someone who can go and pursue my dreams. i really thought that u make my life complete. now, there is this forever missing piece that make me lose some sort of a fighting spirit or motivation to do some things. but i will still do it because i know i have to do it. like work. like earn money. like continuing with things like piano, with things that i m suppose to have passion for. as much as i can im leading my life. but its just that i really want u to be part of my life. and i want to be part of yours too. i know u are independent and u can lead your own life well alone.

i know one problem is u would rather not speak when we disagree cos u feel that i wanna "win". i just wanna tell u that i never wanted to win u in anything. maybe u dont believe it cos maybe u feel that my actions speaks otherwise. but really, i didnt. its just that we may not agree with each other. but it doesnt mean i dont respect your views. i think all these led u to make this decision. but still, in a way, hopefully u are still giving the both of us a second chance in your own way.. u are still watching over me in some ways. hopefully after this huge hurdle and challenge we will both grow stronger and we will both still be able to walk down the isle of happiness once again. i dream of that day. i dream of the day we will smile at each other, and hold each others hand, because we are certain that we are meant for each other. i know its not sth u wanna think of now. but this is my wish. this is my hope. for now, just stay with me like this. just like this will do. let me see u, let me text u, let me go out with u. let me know that when i need a company, u will still be willing to be my companion.

It's always ♀ ♡ ♂ Never ♂ ♡ ♀; if only...

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; Joey
; Tangy
; babie kangaroo
; small ger ger
; 26th nov 1990
; KCPian~EM1/2,AM3/4,VE5/6
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