Do u know something...? All along I know u don't want ppl to give u things... But when ppl do, u will still always be very appreciative about it.. And sincerity thank them for the thought...

Even though I know that u appreciate it when I give u a little something from time to time, but your response when u get from me and your other friends or colleagues can be so different. U are happy and appreciative when u receive theirs.. Enough to make u wanna put it on instag to thank them with a happy face. But when it's me, I know u appreciate it a lot as well.. But it seems that u aren't happy. And it hurts me so much u know. I'm not bothered about the instag at all, I'm only bothered about how others can make u happy but I cant. I hurts me so badly.

Your simple concern to ask me to see a doctor comforts me. When u say don't come for session if I don't get enough rest shows me ur care. All these little things I see feel it. My msg to u today, I really hope that u don't think that I just simple being naive in thinking that if we are willing to accept each other good and bad we will make it. Its a matter of faith in each other.

Actually I really duno what happen this year.... I'm seriously drowning in work and in personal life. I don't even know how long I can take this both physically and mentally. I get tired so easily. I am really drained sometimes... n u have chose to hide your support n concern in your heart n not displaying them much to me.. I probably get alot toe crazy trying to pick up any small signals that could be U ceded as a caring act.. Just to give myself more energy...

I put in so much effort in us in work, please don't let it be in vain.. We must cross this hurdle togehter.. I know somehow or rather the combination of us n work is building up a lot of stress in me... It builds up but doesn't get release. I really hope that I will keep it in check.. N u won't have to wait till sometime bad happens before you reconsider us... N hope that u won't hurt me deeper n leave me with no hope. My wound now is alr very deep, any deeper, it would Prob be dead, figuratively. But leading a life with a dead heart is worse than anything else. I have no intention to purposely make u guilty. But this is the truth. If u want to be guilt free, I can put up an act for u in the future. But, please please don't let that happen. I willing to exchange anything for us. Even if it means shortening my lifespan or giving up on other things. Lao tian ye, grant me this one wish, n I will willingly do anything. Please let me take my sufferings in other forms.

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